Symptom 13: Mania
Avery James
I am a walking mouth,
wide and clove-lipped.
It’s why I’m awed at
on noon-light highways.
My words are silver
threads rivuleting the stuff
of mystics.
This city thrums through me.
Its stagnant tremble.
We writhe in a fixed state.
Feigning stillness.
A lovely undoing in our bones.
I can feel my beauty
squirming from my pores.
My heart pounds rust
in coppery leaves.
My body aches
with peril.
Left the flat two days ago.
My feet pulp to bruises.
My cell gathers salt and shit in the Hudson.
I know I look like
one of the cream-smooth girls
with collarbones scooped to cavern,
to wine glass hollow. Those
lemon-eyed wisps, poised
suicide.
Meds chemically-lace me to complacence.
Made a game of melting their skins on my tongue,
spitting them like pomegranate seeds,
scraping dry stars across the bush leaves below.
I’m turned on by the taste
of the unhurried death:
gasoline tint air
on a 95-hazed freeway,
a snatched kiss
from the triple-shift waitress.
The sublingual fizz
of an unlabeled pill,
acrid, alkaline.
People always stop me when I get like this.
Can’t handle a good fucking time.
Till then,
I highlight my nails
to nicotine stain.
Fuck a strain-
smiled danger
on the black mold wall
of a gas station stall.
They are coming
They are coming
I am the greatest
version of myself.
Fall, 2018 Issue