Evolution of Me
Love is patient
Love is kind
It does not envy
It does not boast
The two people that brought
Me into this world
Were the two reasons why I
Wanted to leave it the most.
Strands of my own dark hair on the ground,
Bruises pulsing on my legs,
Rather than lullabies growing up,
I fell asleep to my own weepings instead.
I wrestled with God,
How could I possibly
love my parents?
The people I should feel
Most safe with were
More dangerous and that was apparent.
From the age of seven to twelve
I gained four younger sisters.
I bid goodbye to my youth,
Knowing that I’d miss her.
To protect and provide, I became
Their second mother.
I did my best to protect them
From the same conflict like no other.
Then came 19, and I knew God was
Writing my coming of age.
One morning the sound of glass
Was followed by rage.
I clearly remember seeing
my sisters trembling that day.
A weapon pulled out,
Centerpieces on the floor,
My parents emotionally and physically at war.
My sisters are like my own children,
No harm was to come to them,
God was asking me in the
midst of chaos to trust Him.
With my mother chasing after my car,
I drove my sisters and I away.
To my great uncle’s house that
Became our safe haven that day.
It was the first time I had the courage to
Stand firm against my parents
Like David and Goliath God gave me his spirit.
Time passed by and I became the age of 20.
I knew in my heart there had to be more
possibilities for me plenty.
Berry College was not too far,
But far enough for independence.
My parents did not hear me out,
Not even willing of a sentence.
Because in my culture,
Leaving the house before
you’re married is seen as an
act of selfishness.
I was told at times that
It was also borderline sinfulness.
But God asked me again,
Do you trust me above all things and people?
Exhausting as it was, I knew at one
Point I’d feel peaceful.
I was called a radical in the Viet community at home,
Losing all people except for my siblings I left for Rome.
What was seen as an act of rebellion,
Was anything but that to me,
Why was it heavy to think for myself,
at some points I felt guilty.
The campus I refer to as my
Countryside New York City.
My inner child slowly
Came out to play feeling giddy.
Even though it was isolating at first,
I was alone without loneliness.
God has placed people and experiences in my
Life to experience liveliness.
The seasons changed, and next thing I knew I was 21.
Working towards nursing school
Was my entire personality for so long.
Serving others filled up joy in my heart,
But I was so lost when I felt nursing
Tearing me more apart.
I was numb from the world,
And I slowly became someone
I thought I’d never become.
My friend Eden left the world,
what could I have done?
But I remember her last words to me,
It takes as much courage to leave something
That no longer serves you just as much as it does to
Start something new.
I owed it to her and to myself,
To decide that nursing was something
That I outgrew.
I brought the news home to my parents,
Out of respect if nothing else.
I was greeted with remarks that
I was far from heaven, closer to hell.
Not only was I putting to rest a dream
That wasn’t mine,
Conforming to what was expected
Of me as an asian I declined.
Now I’m 22 and am currently
exploring every unknown.
God is patient
God is kind
He doesn’t envy
He doesn’t boast
Through Him I understand love
And its purest form the most.