I wonder what the deer are doing when we do not see them. I wonder where they call home: if it’s among the faded green leaves of the bushes, or beneath the branches of a low-hanging tree. I wonder if they remember their mothers, or if they forget one another. I wonder if they are sad when it is hunting season. I wonder if they know where to hide when they are scared. I wonder if they know that they make me smile. I wonder why they look both ways before they cross the road, and why the deer from back home are suicidal. I wonder if they know that I am. I wonder if they notice how I walk across the chapel yard every morning just to look for them. I wonder if they would miss me. I wonder why I wonder so much about others, even deer. Deer, who are just a collection of bones with brown fur and white tails. Deer, who see nothing but the grass in front of them. Deer, whose eyes are so black that you could swear there is nothing inside them but more blackness. Deer, who cross the road like they do not have a brain, which just confirms the utter consumption of empty blackness inside them. I wonder if they can think about me like I think about them. I wonder that about a lot of things. I wonder if people notice the things that I do, or if they will even notice when I am gone. I wonder how wonderful things have to be for the deer to be so carefree. I wonder what it will take for me to find joy in smelling the daffodils as they bloom. I wonder how the deer know to not eat something so wonderful, and how they feel when I take one. I wonder how they feel when I take from their environment over and over and over again. I wonder if they even notice. Do they know they are protected here? Or do they wonder what protection means when we shoot them anyways? I wonder what it would be like if the roles were reversed. I wonder how we would feel if we were killed to maintain a stable population. I wonder why I wonder so much, and I wonder why it is still not enough. I wonder if I will ever accomplish anything, or if I will be shot down like the deer before I do anything wonderful.